Tag: personal

girl wyd

LindseyLeave a comment

What have I been doing?

Mostly, I’ve been going through a separation and divorce. I’m not going to write too much about it here. You might see some pieces of it in work that I put up in the next few weeks.

I will say that it’s really hard to go through a separation and divorce! Who knew?! Most of my energy has been tied up in that for over a year and I feel like haven’t accomplished much in that time.

Of course, just getting through it has been an accomplishment. I hung in there. I lived my life and did an okay job. I kept writing and working on art projects for fun and to stay sane. I told myself stories.

Now that I’m through it, I want to step it up. I’ve been doing more in the past few months and I want to buckle down and commit to the work of making things.  I want to share stories. Continue reading “girl wyd” →

Light is the left hand of darkness.

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I finished my first book of the year last night, a reread of Ursula K. Le Guin’s The Left Hand of Darkness. I read it again because a) I love it, b) I want to start working on the paper I wrote about it as a grad school writing sample, and c) I needed it. I won’t say too much here about how much I love Le Guin. (I do. A lot. More than I can describe actually.) Somehow I always find the wisdom that I need nestled in her words. So, on the first morning of the new year, I sat in the armchair in front of the window plagued by uncertainty and read the line, “But alas we must walk forward troubling the new snow, proving and disproving, asking and answering.” It grabbed me and didn’t let go.

On this rereading, the theme of wholeness stuck out to me more than anything else. I’ve been thinking about how important wholeness is to a life.

I’ve been in despair lately, existential and personal, overwhelmed by the seemingly systematic and insidious isolation of the parts of my self. Continue reading “Light is the left hand of darkness.” →

Here I am.

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Here I am again.

It’s 2017. Its predecessor was not easy, and especially not lately. I’ve felt exhausted and distracted and more unsure of myself than ever before. I should have turned in my grad school applications by December, but I never even started the process, and now the timer is reset for next year.

I’ve been considering the new year with all the changes it might bring, and the changes I’m more certain it will bring. I’ve been thinking about how I will be 25 on my next birthday and still not in grad school. I’ve been worrying about losing myself to the mundanity of housework and an office job.

So, on Monday I pulled out an old notebook and plotted my course to grad school admissions. I’m reading something every day. I’m reading 45 books this year. I’m writing something every day.

I’m helping my dad work on a professional portfolio, carting around a notebook and pen with my laptop and a manila folder, and feeling more like myself. Right now, I’m snacking on a whole bag of popcorn and a can of Pamplemousse La Croix while the X-Files plays and I’m remembering that I am always myself.

I built a desk.

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I love symbolism. I suppose it’s a quirk of literary people. Maybe?

I’m sure we all remember that I graduated from college about a month ago. I sort of hate it. I decided after only two weeks that I missed it too much and I had to go to grad school. To go to graduate school, I have to take the GRE and how, I thought, can I study for the GRE unless I have a desk?

So began my great search for the desk of my dreams. I found one I liked online and showed it to my sister for her style input. She said of her husband, “Oh, he can just make that for you.” Continue reading “I built a desk.” →

Seasons of Change

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This week follows the conclusion of my penultimate undergraduate semester. This week I have no more assignments due or meetings to go to or classes to attend. And this time, the break will be more substantial than just winter break.

According to my plans, I was supposed to have graduated yesterday. Things don’t often go according to plan, however, so I still have one more semester and just a handful of classes. I have run out of English classes to take at my university so I’ll be taking a women’s lit course online at a community college. I’m taking ASL. I have online history. That’s it. Continue reading “Seasons of Change” →

A Reflection on Personal Branding

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The creation of this website came out of a class. Professional Writing in English Studies. Up until this class, I thought that my branch of professional writing would mean academic writing; literary analysis, book reviews, things like that. As it turns out, it does mean those things but it also means a lot more.

We started with CVs and resumes, cover letters, grant proposals, transcriptions, and ended with a professional website. Personally, that progression meant a destruction of my self-confidence followed by a mandate to confidently market my personal academic brand on the Internet for everyone to see! Needless to say, I found this quite troubling. Continue reading “A Reflection on Personal Branding” →