David Grann’s “The Wager” and a new venture

Hello. I’ve been reading more again and I’ve found myself wanting to find a way to capture what I’ve been reading, beyond the Google doc I keep on my phone with the title, publication year, and author (plus a code system for rereads, audiobooks, etc.). Since changing jobs, I’ve found myself with a bit more mental space as well and hit on the idea of writing a bit about my books as I finish them. The goal is not to write proper book reviews or full on literary analysis, as I’m solidly on practice on both, but instead to write again, stretch my critical lens a little, and capture my impressions of the things I read.

So…

Last night, I finished my 28th book of 2023, The Wager: A Tale of Shipwreck, Mutiny and Murder by David Grann (2023) which I picked up on a whim in order to get free shipping on a cookbook I ordered. I have many fond memories of naval history from a college elective called World War II At Sea and thought I would probably enjoy it. In the briefest of plot summaries, it’s a narrative history of the mutiny that never was after the crew of The Wager was shipwrecked attempting to navigate around Cape Horn in 1741.

The narrative follows the ship and her crew from the start of the adventure (including a few false starts and other difficulties before setting sail), their torturous voyage, even more torturous shipwreck and marooning on a desolate island, their escapes from said island, to their eventual return to England to face the consequences of their decisions.

The New York Times review excerpt on the jacket reads, “The powerful narrative reveals the deeper meaning of the events on The Wager, showing that it was not only the captain and crew who ended up on trial, but the very idea of empire,” a declaration which I at first assumed to be a little dramatic for the sake of selling books. However, after reading the whole thing, I’ve decided that snippet accurately reflects what’s so intriguing about the book.

The Wager is definitely a piece of narrative history… Grann artfully peppers in historical facts, context, and first-person sources, while maintaining a compelling narrative through pacing and a cast of characters I found myself very invested in. I was delighted by the rotational cast of perspectives, and the nuance of each character as they found themselves in truly horrible situations. This was second only to my delight with all the naval “fun facts” I effortlessly absorbed while reading – like the concept of dead reckoning and the problem of longitude!

Throughout this lovely (though really horrifying) narrative, Grann is introducing a nuanced criticism of the concept of empire – it’s impacts on places and people, both those it obviously oppresses and those allegedly in its service. I won’t spoil the ending – because that’s no fun and I don’t have to – but the outcome of the court martial really rewards all the wonderings about “empire”.

If you read my musings, thanks, and I hope you’ll check out the book.

In the rating system I’ve just invented… Three stars.

The rating system:
1 star = don’t read
2 stars = read it if you want, I don’t care either way
3 stars = read it
4 stars = please please read / I’ve bought this book for people / it’ll change your life

A compromise

I had intended to go for a walk and start an art project tonight but it’s so hot out and I don’t want to do either of those things. Unfortunately for all of you, my compromise with myself is to post a draft of a poem I came up with just yesterday! This will a) make me feel uncomfortable and b) hopefully aid my revision process by making every flaw jump out at me as soon as I hit publish. One of my June intentions is to share so… Here goes.

I tried to text the word “dog”
and three times I did it wrong:
my sister’s god
my sister’s god
my sister’s god

Sometimes when I speak
my heart twists beneath the words
a caught fish on a line—
I am not what I am—
floundering, I try again

Favorite Trees

I’ve been hiding inside for a couple months. I walked my way through the fall and most of winter. Then I signed some divorce papers and fell into a bit of a funk. I told myself I was worried about pollen and didn’t walk my way out the funk. Eventually, enough time had passed that I really was worried about the pollen.

For the last week, I’ve been waiting for the leaves. Watching for them to show up big enough, green enough to prove that the time for pollinating was done. Yesterday I did a test-run-walk around the block. Sunday I did a real one, my regular route, the whole shebang.

I set out during golden hour, 83 degrees with a slight breeze. I turned a corner and saw a grove of green-can-you-believe-it-green trees at the exact moment a soft cool breath of air hit me. Overcome with joy, I cackled like a cartoon villain. Continue reading “Favorite Trees”

Octavia Butler’s “Dawn”: Woman as World-builder

I finished Octavia Butler’s Dawn this week. I’ve been reading a lot of science fiction lately and I chose Dawn specifically to interrupt the overwhelmingly male run of reading material. I was not disappointed.

I’m steadily working my way through Butler’s work. My first introduction to her short story, “Bloodchild,” which was recommended to me by a professor. When I finished it, I walked straight down to her office to ask, “Why didn’t you warn me??!” I cannot recommend it enough.

I’ve read a handful of her novels but since they rarely turn up at secondhand bookstores, it’s slow progress. Dawn is my favorite so far, even beating out Parable of the Sower.

Besides being well-written—Butler’s delightfully punchy prose, straightforward and articulate, makes you think, did she really just say what I think she just said?? She definitely did—Dawn is a fantastic genre story. Continue reading “Octavia Butler’s “Dawn”: Woman as World-builder”

girl wyd

What have I been doing?

Mostly, I’ve been going through a separation and divorce. I’m not going to write too much about it here. You might see some pieces of it in work that I put up in the next few weeks.

I will say that it’s really hard to go through a separation and divorce! Who knew?! Most of my energy has been tied up in that for over a year and I feel like haven’t accomplished much in that time.

Of course, just getting through it has been an accomplishment. I hung in there. I lived my life and did an okay job. I kept writing and working on art projects for fun and to stay sane. I told myself stories.

Now that I’m through it, I want to step it up. I’ve been doing more in the past few months and I want to buckle down and commit to the work of making things.  I want to share stories. Continue reading “girl wyd”

Light is the left hand of darkness.

I finished my first book of the year last night, a reread of Ursula K. Le Guin’s The Left Hand of Darkness. I read it again because a) I love it, b) I want to start working on the paper I wrote about it as a grad school writing sample, and c) I needed it. I won’t say too much here about how much I love Le Guin. (I do. A lot. More than I can describe actually.) Somehow I always find the wisdom that I need nestled in her words. So, on the first morning of the new year, I sat in the armchair in front of the window plagued by uncertainty and read the line, “But alas we must walk forward troubling the new snow, proving and disproving, asking and answering.” It grabbed me and didn’t let go.

On this rereading, the theme of wholeness stuck out to me more than anything else. I’ve been thinking about how important wholeness is to a life.

I’ve been in despair lately, existential and personal, overwhelmed by the seemingly systematic and insidious isolation of the parts of my self. Continue reading “Light is the left hand of darkness.”

Here I am.

Here I am again.

It’s 2017. Its predecessor was not easy, and especially not lately. I’ve felt exhausted and distracted and more unsure of myself than ever before. I should have turned in my grad school applications by December, but I never even started the process, and now the timer is reset for next year.

I’ve been considering the new year with all the changes it might bring, and the changes I’m more certain it will bring. I’ve been thinking about how I will be 25 on my next birthday and still not in grad school. I’ve been worrying about losing myself to the mundanity of housework and an office job.

So, on Monday I pulled out an old notebook and plotted my course to grad school admissions. I’m reading something every day. I’m reading 45 books this year. I’m writing something every day.

I’m helping my dad work on a professional portfolio, carting around a notebook and pen with my laptop and a manila folder, and feeling more like myself. Right now, I’m snacking on a whole bag of popcorn and a can of Pamplemousse La Croix while the X-Files plays and I’m remembering that I am always myself.

While I was away, they changed MLA…

I’ve only been out of school a few months but I already can’t wait to go back. I got a grown up in July and after one month, I got my own office at my grown up job. Offices are way better than cubicles I’ve learned. I can close my door?? I can close my door and listen to NPR or Myths & Legends podcasts out loud without cumbersome headphone strings?? The office and the pay had me thinking I could maybe just work in an office for a few years.

Then, the first day of classes for everyone else happened. It was a Monday and it was my 24th birthday and I’ll be honest, I cried off and on all day. I knew where I wanted to be and it wasn’t in an office, clicking buttons to put money in the right places.

I’d had plans to study for the GRE all summer, take it on September 20th, and maybe apply this year or maybe apply next year… I wasn’t sure. Sometime, I said to myself, I will go to grad school but I’m not in any hurry. Continue reading “While I was away, they changed MLA…”

What if I’m a Bad Academic?

I suppose the thing about plans is that they change. My plan for the last several years has been “go straight to grad school to be an English professor.” Then I wasn’t sure what to study, so I decided to take a year or two off to do some independent study and find an academic passion that wasn’t simply knowledge. But always, I knew I was going to be an English professor.

965878-_uy200_During the last semester of my undergraduate degree, however, I started to feel a little bit like I was living and working inside a vacuum. I was writing my Capstone paper, “Science Fiction Sleeper Agent: Narrative Subversion in Ursula K. Le Guin’s The Lefthand of Darkness” and loving it. I was having a great time immersing myself in great writing and in the thoughtful, though at times disappointing, scholarship of others in my field. I was having a blast but I couldn’t shake a certain feeling of futility.

To understand this feeling, we might have to delve a little bit into my life and educational philosophies. In life, I value learning. As an existentialist, I believe that what I choose to value has global and societal ramifications; In light of this fact, I must value the act of learning over knowledge itself which can be understood to be finite. I can consider myself fully knowledgeable on a given subject but I can never consider myself to be finished learning about a given subject. It is that eternal questing which excites me and that gives us a tangible point of entry into the future. We can always learn more, we can always seek more knowledge, more understanding. The act of learning, of seeking knowledge, is endless and open and freeing. Continue reading “What if I’m a Bad Academic?”