Here I am.

Here I am again.

It’s 2017. Its predecessor was not easy, and especially not lately. I’ve felt exhausted and distracted and more unsure of myself than ever before. I should have turned in my grad school applications by December, but I never even started the process, and now the timer is reset for next year.

I’ve been considering the new year with all the changes it might bring, and the changes I’m more certain it will bring. I’ve been thinking about how I will be 25 on my next birthday and still not in grad school. I’ve been worrying about losing myself to the mundanity of housework and an office job.

So, on Monday I pulled out an old notebook and plotted my course to grad school admissions. I’m reading something every day. I’m reading 45 books this year. I’m writing something every day.

I’m helping my dad work on a professional portfolio, carting around a notebook and pen with my laptop and a manila folder, and feeling more like myself. Right now, I’m snacking on a whole bag of popcorn and a can of Pamplemousse La Croix while the X-Files plays and I’m remembering that I am always myself.